Get set for the 16th Lok Sabha polls

Most religions thrive on miracles. In India, it is a miracle that Indian democracy itself thrives on miracles; rather perhaps it is a miracle that Indian democracy survives and thrives despite the political system and politicians. As the nation gears up for the Lok Sabha elections, you don’t need to be a pundit to realise that the polity and voters are hopelessly fragmented. The next Lok Sabha will be peppered with regional and local parties with 5 or 10 or 15 seats dictating terms and blackmailing their way to pelf and plunder in a fractious and incoherent coalition government. Ever wonder why India gets unstable coalitions in times of grave economic crisis? It was a joke led by the late Charan Singh in 1979 when OPEC dealt the second Oil Shock. It was the sham led by the late V. P. Singh in 1990-91 when the Indian economy virtually collapsed. It was the farce led by Deve Gowda and I. K. Gujral in 1996-97 when East Asia faced a meltdown. Who will lead the next farce? Here is my choice of probable candidates:

• Chand Mohammed aka Chander Mohan: He will fulfil two crucial criteria: unity between Hindus and Muslims and the importance of dynasty in Indian politics. Besides, like Manmohan Singh, he can’t even hope to get elected!
  
• Raj Thackeray: No one else can revitalise democracy the way he can. Imagine goons of MNS chasing MPs from Bihar and UP through the Central Hall of Parliament.
  
• Mani Kumar Subba: This gentleman too will fulfil two crucial criteria: India is open to outsiders and democracy is a gamble. This man is allegedly a citizen of Nepal on the run; so at least he will ‘run’ a government. More importantly, he will use his famous lotteries to allocate portfolios to coalition partners.
  
• Pramod Mutalik: If democracy can be fun, this will be the ultimate thing. Imagine a debate between this staunch defender of Hindu culture and the redoubtable Renuka Choudhry. TV News channels need only do live telecast of Lok Sabha proceedings to get record TRPs.
  
• Pinarayi Vijayan: He will achieve what no Prime Minister in modern India has ever been able to achieve. This committed Marxist will issue a decree that will completely ban commissions from foreign companies for winning contracts (Of course, the ‘cause’ will be exempt).
  
• Ajit Singh: This gentleman represents the ultimate fantasy of Indian democracy: the innate ability to tie up with any party and individual, and change the tie-up in a few days. Why, he can even tie-up with the Chinese Communist Party if that can ensure he will be Prime Minister for 14 hours.
  
• Ramalinga Raju: These troubled times for the Indian economy need a financial whiz. Who better than the esteemed Raju? He can actually make trade and fiscal deficits, inflation, rising unemployment and farmer’s suicides disappear. Just imagine him presenting the next Union Budget!

Some readers might have read the headline and wondered if there is a typographical error in it. You see, the next Lok Sabha elections will be the 15th. But rest assured, the miracle that is Indian democracy will ensure that it will only be a year or so before we start voting in the 16th Lok Sabha elections!

Get set for the 16th Lok Sabha polls

Time to snap all ties with Pakistan

The whole damn thing – like as always in the past – is fast descending into a farce and a bloody masquerade. Close to three months have passed since the 26/11 carnage in Mumbai and we now get ‘credible’ reports from investigators in Pakistan that those who planned the brutal attack were not from Pakistan. By the time you read this, the Pakistani Foreign Minister or Interior Minister would have almost certainly officially informed India of the same. Indian citizens and the Establishment would be outraged at the duplicity and perfidy of Pakistan. But then, in a response that is typically Indian, the Mumbai carnage would be a fading memory and the media would be more preoccupied with the love story of Chand and Fiza. There will be some chest thumping because the American Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, will announce that Pakistan needs to do much more to curb terrorism. Bleeding hearts will keep up their rant that Pakistan is as much a victim of terrorism as India. More bleeding hearts will preach that only ‘people to people’ interaction will lead to lasting solutions. And of course, there will be those disposed towards misplaced bellicosity who will keep insisting that only sustained attacks on training camps based in Pakistan will teach ‘them’ a lesson. But eventually, one more bomb blast will kill and maim dozens or hundreds in another Indian city and the whole cycle of accusations and denials will resume; only to end again in a farce.

I completely agree with level headed and sober analysts that launching a military offensive against Pakistan will not necessarily result in an end to cross border terrorism. That could have been a risk worth taking if the Indian military had the power and punch to decisively knock out and decisively defeat the Pakistani military in a short and swift conflict. The unpalatable reality is: the Indian military doesn’t have that kind of punch. In any case, the powers that be know that the Big Boys will force India to go for a quick ceasefire and a stalemate. Pakistan will again make promises to stop encouraging jehadi attacks against India. It will again break that promise with impunity. So, is India to sit impotently and not be able to do anything about it?

I strongly suggest that we simply cut off all ties and relations with Pakistan. I don’t mean just the recall of the diplomats; I mean the complete works. No people to people contacts, no cultural exchange programmes; no cricket matches either in India or Pakistan or even in another country. No Indian artistes in Pakistan and vice-versa. All embassies, consulates and the likes must be shut down and there should be a complete and unequivocal ban of travel between the two countries. This will anger the bleeding hearts sure. But the least that India and Indian citizens can do is to express how utterly disgusted they are by the brazen duplicity of Pakistan that it is no longer interested in any relations with that country. I know, the terror attacks will probably still continue. But for heaven’s sake, rather improve internal security than have anything to do with a State that is bent upon destroying India.

Time to snap all ties with Pakistan